Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

Poppin’ Fresh Would Be Shocked

Today’s bozo from Greenville, North Carolina could only have happened during the holiday season. It seems a 34-year-old mother of three, who shall remain unidentified, wanted to bake some Christmas cookies for her kids but was a little short of funds. So, she shoplifted a can of cookie dough. It was how she did it that landed her in the Bozo Hall of Fame. CCTV footage from the store shows her taking the can to the toy aisle and, as her kids surrounded her, she lifted her skirt and, to put it delicately, made the can of dough “disappear.” She was confronted by Walmart security as she tried to exit the store. A scuffle ensued, resulting in our bozo falling to the floor. When she hit the ground, the guard reported hearing a loud “pop” and our bozo began screaming. Yep, the can of cookie dough exploded inside her most private region. She was treated by EMT personnel and taken to the hospital where the poppin’ fresh remains were removed. During the removal, the doctors also reported finding candy sprinkles and a number 6 birthday candle. She did not suffer any serious injuries and was taken to the county jail.

Category: Uncategorized
  • Ben Ball says:

    that’s from a fake news site News8Now

    December 18, 2015 at 12:02 pm
    • dave says:

      Further research proves that Ben is indeed correct. The poppin’ fresh story, while funny, is in fact a hoax. We’ve been bamboozled! The Bozo Report regrets the error

      December 18, 2015 at 1:34 pm

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