Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

Here, Let Me Cuff Myself For You, Too

Bozo criminal for today comes from Edgewater, Florida, where Jasper Brown had a nice marijuana operation going. He had a storage unit with nine plants growing under artificial light. And, like many pot smokers, he was just a teeny bit paranoid. He was tending his crop when he heard a helicopter hovering nearby. And, of course, he assumed the helicopter was looking for him. So, he did what any bozo would do. He called 911 and told the operator he was “the guy” they were looking for and wanted to come out without getting shot. He even gave the dispatcher directions to the correct unit, where cops found the plants along with 150 grams of cultivated marijuana. He’s been charged with growing marijuana within 1000 feet of a school with intent to sell. Oh, one thing we forgot to mention. The cops had no idea our bozo was there. The helicopter was in the neighborhood to investigate an unrelated suspicious death. Oops.

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