Bozo criminal for today comes from Spartanburg, South Carolina, where the cops answered a 911 call at a residence. Upon arrival, they found 53-year-old bozo Patrick Carter standing outside drinking an alcoholic beverage. He didn’t appear to be in any danger but was definitely upset. When the cops inquired further, he gave them the Bozo 911 Excuse of the Week. He said he called them because his girlfriend would not give him any “ass.” Yep, he called the cops because she wasn’t in the mood for love. He’s een charged with misusing 911.