Bozo criminal for today comes from the Bozo Lonely Hearts Club. It seems bozo John Hamilton of New York City wanted to go see his girlfriend in Uniontown, Pennsylvania, 300 miles away. Only problem, he didn’t have a car. So, he did the next best thing and loaded his kids into a cab and told the driver to head for Uniontown. Which might have been OK, except when he arrived at his destination and the cabbie handed him a $749 bill, he told the driver he had no cash and his “credit card was maxed out for the day.” Bad idea. The cabbie called the cops and our bozo has been jailed on charges of theft of services. The kids are in protective custody and our bozo still hasn’t seen his girlfriend.