Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

And You’re Going To Need a Really Big Parking Lot

Bozo criminal for today comes from Jacksonville, Florida, where bozo Jeff Mason bought a blank check off a homeless guy for $100. For reasons known only to the bozo mind, he accepted the homeless guy’s explanation that he could fill out the check for any amount he wanted and cash it at the local bank. Thinking he wanted to either go big or go home, our bozo filled out the check to “cash” in the amount of $368,000,000,000. Yep, that’s 368 billion dollars. In small bills, please. Needless to say, the tellers at the local Bank of America were suspicious and called the cops. Our bozo then explained how he came to have the check, but it was what he was going to use it for that landed him in the Bozo Hall of Fame. He told the cops he was 10 percent Italian and he wanted to open “the best Italian restaurant on earth.” But he didn’t stop there. He went on to explain that the restaurant would be “80 million square feet” and able to accomodate 30 million eaters at once. Oh, and it was going to be “totally underwater so people could look at sharks while they ate.” Unfortunately, this dining palace will never be built as he was arrested on forgery charges and drug possession.

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