Bozo criminal for today from Jefferson Parish, Louisiana, violated Bozo Rule Number 22982: Before stealing a piece of heavy equipment, at least be sure you know how to drive it. Police were called after reports of a drunken man driving a 178,000 pound excavator erratically. The cops arrived and attempted to apprehend him, but because of the size of the excavator could only stay out of his way and watch as he wrecked havoc. He rammed numerous trees, several power poles and the support beam of a highway before crashing through a fence and driving into a canal. While he was too drunk to drive, he wasn’t too drunk to swim to safety as the big unit sank. He’s been charged with auto theft, obstruction of a highway, aggravated and simple criminal damage, resisting arrest and DUI.