Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

It All Started With a Brisket

Bozo criminal for today comes from San Antonio, Texas, where bozo Alan Martin walked into Augie’s Barbed Wire Smokehouse and stole a BBQ brisket. He fled the scene in a stolen truck, but the cops quickly caught up with him and gave chase. Somehow, he was able to lose them, but they encountered him again a short time later when he set a house on fire. No word on why he set the house ablaze but we can only assume he was trying to warm up the brisket. From there, he proceeded to steal a Corvette at gunpoint and led the cops on another chase, which ended when he collided with a Mustang. He then jumped out of the car and was apprehended as he attempted to swallow a package of heroin. He’s been charged with too many offenses to count.

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