Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

Rule Number One: Drink After the Heist, Not Before

Bozo criminal for today from Tallahassee, Florida made a couple of major mistakes in his attempt to rob a bank. First he drank too many “cups of courage” before heading to the bank. And second, he called a cab to take him to the heist and then told him to wait while he went inside. After telling employees that he had a gun and C4 explosives and would “blow the place up”, a bank manager took our obviously intoxicated bozo behind closed doors in his office to discuss things. While he was inside, tellers called the cops. The police quickly arrived and our bozo was taken under arrest without further incident. But his problems don’t end with the bank robbery charges. The cabbie plans to press charges for the unpaid fare.

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