Bozo criminal for today comes from Sammamish, Washington, where a Christmas Eve thief found himself up a creek without a paddle. Literally. Police officers received a report of a man and woman stealing packages from local mailboxes. They spotted a car filled with mail and used their cruisers to block it in. The officers captured the woman immediately, but the man jumped from the vehicle and fled to a nearby pond, grabbing a kayak out of a yard on his way. Unfortunately, once he found himself in the boat, he discovered that he had forgotten to also steal a paddle. And using his hands just didn’t work very well. He’s under arrest.