Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

Step One. Be Sure You Actually Know How To Drive It

Bozo criminal for today comes from Harrison, New Jersey, where bozo Christopher Russell had a little too much to drink at a local bar. So he called a cab to get home safely? Nope. Maybe asked one of the more sober patrons to drive him? Nah. Went outside, stole a bulldozer and drove it home, leaving a path of destruction behind him? Yep. Police say he leveled signs, three benches, a tree, a drinking fountain and left a maze of bulldozer tracks in the grass. Needless to say, it wasn’t difficult for the cops to track him down. He’s been charged with DUI, criminal mischief, leaving the scene of a crime and theft of a bulldozer.

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