Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

If He’d Had Any Poli-Grip the Charges Would Have Been Upped to a Felony

Bozo criminal for today comes from Lakewood, Washington, where bozo Kenneth Carlson had a simple request of his girlfriend. Please clean my ears. The cops were called to their trailer park residence after she refused and violence ensued. Apparently her refusal so angered our bozo that he broke a door off the hinges and poured water on her, damaging her hearing aid. But, there’s more! He then chomped down on her arm with his toothless mouth, not breaking the skin, but “still enough to hurt.” He’s been charged with assault by gumming.

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