Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

He’s Just Not a Pushy Guy

Bozo criminal for today comes from Chicago, Illinois, where our unidentified bozo staked out his target for break-in, the Shambles Bar. He planned carefully, arriving at 6:43 a.m. when no one was around, he brought all the right tools and even found a door that was hidden from public view by a temporary cover to protect patorns from the winter weather. Next step, dislodge a safety guard doorstop. Done. Now, using his tools, he pried the lock from the front door of the business. Done. Now, all that was left to do was pull on the door and go in and get his loot. Much to his surprise, when he pulled, nothing happened. He tried and tried and the door simply wouldn’t budge. He double checked his work and could find nothing else holding the door, so he gave the door one more good, hard pull. Still nothing. Deciding there was nothing else to do, he simply gave up and walked away, leaving the complete video history of his attempted break-in on the bar’s security cameras. And those security cameras also showed one other thing that our bozo never noticed…a big sticker on the door reading “PUSH.”

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