Thanks to Bozo News Hawk “Sharkey in the Morning” for sending in today’s report from Shavertown, Pennsylvania. Bozo Kyle Brown walked into a convenience store with a bandana over his face and carrying a gun. After he asked the clerk to empty the register, she told him she was new and didn’t know how to operate it. So, our bozo simply stepped behind the counter, turned the key on the register, and helped himself to $200 in cash and a couple of packs of cigarettes before leaving. And that’s when things took a bad turn. Police arriving at the scene found a single set of footprints in the freshly fallen snow outside the store. They followed the trail into the woods, over a couple of chain link fences and finally ending at a ladder leading to a second floor apartment. Inside they found our bozo, clothes matching the description the clerk had given them, and two packs of cigarettes marked with the same numbers as those taken in the robbery. He’s busted! Everyone sing!!! OVER THE CHAIN LINK FENCE AND THROUGH THE WOODS TO THE BOZO’S HOUSE WE GO!