Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

No More “Walking Dead” For This Guy

Bozo criminal for today comes from Apple Valley, Minnesota, where police were called to a report of a stolen vehicle. Witnesses told the cops the newspaper delivery truck had been left unattended at a gas station when our bozo jumped in and drove off. Apparently, he didn’t go very far before bailing out of the truck, which the cops found a few blocks away. Our bozo was spotted nearby, with bloodshot eyes and “a strong odor of alcohol” on his breath. This would be the end of the story except for one more thing…his excuse, which landed him in the Bozo Hall of Fame. He told the cops he had stolen the truck because he was being chased by flesh eating zombies. Finding no zombies anywhere around, the cops charged him with theft.

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