Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

Next Time Just Go To Popeyes

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Bob Hammond for sending in today’s report from Thibodeaux, Louisiana. Our bozo for today, Eric Walker, had a powerful hunger for some crawfish, so he headed down to the local grocery and grabbed a bag. Using the old five fingered discount, he ran from the store without paying and jumped into his car. Unfortunately, the parking lot was full and it was a long run to the car. And it would seem that our bozo may have been eating too many crawfish, among other goodies, as he was so winded from the brief run that he could not blow into the drunk driving preventing ignition interlock device to start his vehicle. His delay in getting the getaway vehicle started enabled workers to take pictures and get his license plate number which they gave to the cops after our bozo finally worked up enough wind to drive away. In one final act of bozodom, when the cops confronted him, he claimed that he had been at work until 4:30 and could not have stolen the mud bugs. The cops politely pointed out that it was not yet 4:30. He’s busted.

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