Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

Guess He Told Her to Pack Her Stuff One Time Too Many

Bozo criminal for today is a certified member of the Bozo Lonely Hearts Club. From Monroe County, Florida comes the story of bozo Matthew Calder who called 911 to report a rather strange kidnapping. He told the cops his girlfriend was being abducted by two men in a U-Haul truck. The cops arrived and did indeed find a U-Haul truck. And our bozo’s girlfriend was inside. But that’s the only part of the story our bozo got right. It seems his girlfriend was loading her stuff into the U-Haul with the intention of leaving our bozo, who had made up the kidnapping story in an attempt to get her to stay. Didn’t work. She moved out and he went to jail for misuse of 911, public intoxication and resisting arrest.

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