Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

Assault With a Friendly Weapon

Over the years, we have had many, many reasons for the arrests of our bozos, but today’s has to be the strangest. Police in Bradenton, Florida were called to resolve a dispute over the placement of a fence between two residences. The officer was talking to one of the neighbors, bozo Peggy Haynes, when “she approached and kissed him on the nose against his will.” Must have been quite a kiss, as the officer, with the help of another deputy, “gently” took our bozo to the ground and handcuffed her. Maybe she should have used some mouthwash first. She’s been charged with felony battery.

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