Thanks to Bozo News Hawk “Sharkey” for sending in today’s report from Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. Erin Mitchell went to police headquarters to report her cell phone had been stolen from her car. She was accompanied by her “friend”, bozo Patrick Hathaway who waited in the lobby while Erin talked to an officer. And that’s when things started to go bad for our bozo. An officer heard the sound of a cell phone vibrating inside our bozo’s shorts. The cop asked our bozo if he had the phone, which he denied. He then proceeded to empty his pockets, showing he had only a wallet. Our bozo then headed for the door, followed by the officer who stopped him and patted him down, causing the phone in question to fall from his shorts to the floor. Oops. He’s been charged with theft and public drunkenness.