Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

“Get Twinkies” Would Have Been on the List, But…

Bozo criminal for today violated Bozo Rule Number 008854: While making a list and sticking to it may be a good plan for some, it’s not always the best idea for bozos. From Weymouth, Massachusetts comes the story of bozo Evan Drake who had his day pretty well planned out. His first order of business was to break into a residence. And that’s as far as he got as the cops noticed the suspicious activity and caught him inside stealing items from a UPS package. It was while they were questioning him that they discovered his “Goals for Friday” list which included: 1. Find crystal meth; 2. Get a gold watch; 3. Rob a dealer; 4. Sell the stolen drugs; 5. Get some cocaine; 6. Do one kind thing for a stranger. While the police appreciated item number 6, he was still placed under arrest and charge with breaking and entering.

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