Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

If Only Bullwinkle Had Been With Them

Bozo criminal for today comes from Fleming Island, Florida, where bozo Warren Means was pulled over by the cops after they observed him crossing the center line, then veering back to the right, running off the road and almost hitting a parked vehicle. It was when they questioned him about the reason for his reckless driving that he offered up the Bozo Excuse of the Week. He told the deputies that he was being eaten by the squirrel inside his shirt. Upon further investigation, the cops found that our bozo did indeed have a squirrel inside his shirt, but his claims of being “eaten” were greatly exaggerated. He was arrested and charged with DUI. Police say the vehicle and the squirrel were turned over to our bozo’s girlfriend for safe keeping.

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