Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Barbara Goldstein for sending in today’s report from the International File in Launceston, Tasmania. It seems bozo Christopher Stone wanted some chicken schnitzel. Really wanted some chicken schnitzel. However, he was a little short of funds. So, he did what any bozo would do, he stuffed the schnitzel in question down his pants, threatened the cashier at the supermarket with a gun and walked to his car. One thing he didn’t plan on, however, was how difficult it would be to drive with a large schnitzel in his pants. Police officers say he was attempting to adjust the schnitzel when he lost control of his vehicle and rolled the car. He’s busted!