Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

Maybe He Should Have Considered a Designated Driver

Bozo criminal for today violated Bozo Rule Number 66354: Don’t text, eat and drive. Our bozo for today from Kennewick, Washington, stole a pickup from the yard of a residence. Now, as you might understand, a bozo can work up quite a hunger stealing a car, so as soon as he hit the road, our bozo pulled out a croissant sandwich and enjoyed a tasty meal. And what fun is stealing a car if you can’t text someone to brag about it? That is just what he was doing, eating and texting, when he ran his new vehicle into a ditch. Oops. He’s under arrest.

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