Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

June 3, 2011

Bozo criminal for today comes from Independence, Missouri, where our bozo seemed out of place. He was menacing, frightening and not at all what he seemed to be. Police were called to a pond in a subdivision where our bozo had been sighted, hiding in the tall grass. After consulting with their supervisors, the officers were given their orders…shoot to kill. And shoot they did, striking our bozo twice in the head. But the big bozo didn’t move, even after the second shot. And that’s when the police realized everything wasn’t as it seemed. That threatening bozo that was causing all the trouble wasn’t a live alligator at all. It was a concrete lawn ornament. A faux gator, if you will. The police tracked down the property owner, who said he had placed the gator on his property to keep people off. He’s been advised to get a no-tresspassing sign. And that bozo gator? He’s going to need a patch job.

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