Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Bob Hammond for sending in today’s report from the International File in Russia. The cops pulled our bozo over under suspicion of drunk driving. When they asked him for his driver’s license, our bozo began searching his pockets. Finally, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and proceeded to "call" his father who was "on duty", carrying on an imaginary conversation where he told Dad he needed to "deal with the situation." He continued talking to the cigarettes while the officers searched his car. Finally, he pulled a cigarette out of his "phone" and lit up as he was being placed under arrest.