Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

May 10, 2011

Bozo criminal for today comes from the Bozo Lonely Hearts File. From Ford Heights, Illinois, comes the story of bozo Dewayne Simmons who thought he had come up with the perfect "chick magnet." A four-foot alligator which he kept in a tank in his house and fed live mice. He thought women who came over to his place would be impressed. By all reports, they weren’t. Neither were the cops, who charged him with possession of a dangerous animal. The critter has been given a new home where the only females he’ll have to impress will be of the gator variety.

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