Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

April 26, 2011

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Bob Hammond for sending in today’s report. From Woodland, Oregon, comes the story of bozo Jeremiah Collier who went on a late night beer run, but found his search complicated by his own bozo-ness. Mistake one…he went to a mini-mall in search of a liquor store, a bad idea, since the nearest place selling alcohol was several blocks away. Second, he had no real tools for breaking into the stores, so he launched a 15 minute assault of throwing golf balls at the windows in an attempt to break them. When this failed, he used the old trick of trying to jimmy a lock with a credit card. Having no credit card handy, he used his drivers license instead. He didn’t succeed in jimmying the lock, but he did succeed in getting his license stuck in the door. After a while, he gave up, leaving his license behind and the whole thing recorded in vivid detail on the mall’s security cameras. He’s busted.

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