Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

March 19, 2010

Bozo criminal for today comes from St. Lucie, Florida, where bozo Gene Caldwell likes Little Debbie Oatmeal Cookies. Really likes them. Likes them so much that, when he discovered what he thought were two boxes missing from his stash, he grabbed his garden hoe and began banging on his neighbor’s door demanding they return them. By the time the cops arrived, the door had been "damaged beyond repair" and an investigation ensued. Police listened to our bozo’s theory that his neighbors had broken into his house under cover of darkness and had stolen two boxes of cookies. They then took a look around his house and discovered the Wal-Mart receipt from the previous day that showed our bozo had purchased five boxes of cookies, not seven as he had believed. Case solved. Bozo charged with criminal mischief.

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