Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Bob Hammond for sending in today’s report. While we can’t call her a criminal, there’s not doubt 13-year-old Stacey Wheeler qualifies as a bozo. And at this holiday season we feel an obligation to present this story as a public service. It’s been very cold in Spokane Valley, Washington recently. And on one particularly cold morning, our bozo felt the need to put an old urban legend to the test. She touched her tongue to a metal flagpole. And, yes, Virginia, it stuck. And when she couldn’t get it unstuck, her friend called 911. The fire department came by and poured warm water on the pole, freeing the frozen tongue. They sent her home, and hopefully also cautioned her to be careful with BB guns.