Bozo criminals for today come from Paterson, New Jersey, where three bozos broke into a residence and demanded money from the homeowner. They quickly discovered they had broken into the wrong house when the homeowner fought back, stabbing one of our bozos with a pair of scissors. Seeing the error of their ways, our bozos fled with only a piggy bank containing $2 in change. But it was what they left behind that would cause them problems. Their car keys. Police found the keys and used the car’s alarm to locate the vehicle in a nearby parking lot. The information on the registration led them to one bozo’s home, where they found our three bozos sitting in a taxi in front of the house. They’re under arrest.