Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

March 9, 2009

Bozo criminal for today comes from Chicago, Illinois, where bozo Dan Bates was smitten with a co-worker, but he couldn’t get her to pay any attention to him. So, he hatched the ultimate bozo scheme. He put on a ski mask and a hood and went to her work area where he threatened to kill her before running away. Building security was then called and, who should show up to offer comfort and support, but our bozo, without the mask and hood. Unfortunately, he didn’t bring a change of clothes and she quickly identified him as her attacker. He’s under arrest.

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