Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Barbara Goldstein for sending in today’s report. From Amsterdam, New York, comes the story of bozo Walter Tarver who returned to the local supermarket claiming that the lobster he had purchased there was bad. And since he brought the lobster back with him, he was able to obtain a bag of crab legs in exchange for the lobster. He had already left the store when employees noticed the supposedly bad lobster was nothing but shell. Our bozo had carefully removed all the meat from the crustacean and had eaten it before doing the Humpty Dumpty thing and putting the lobster back together again and returning it. The cops were called and by the time they arrived at our bozo’s house, he had already eaten the crab legs, too. Our well-fed bozo is now under arrest.