Bozo criminal for today comes from Raleigh, North Carolina, where bozo Fred Ellis attempted to steal a woman’s car in a grocery store parking lot. Other shoppers noticed what was happening and came to her rescue, including one gentleman who had just purchased his frozen Thanksgiving turkey. And it was a big bird, too. He used said bird to bash our bozo over the head, knocking him to the ground. After being treated for head injuries, he was placed under arrest.