Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

July 8, 2008

Bozo criminal for today comes from Appleton, Wisconsin, where bozo John Warren broke into a house and began rummaging around. His whistling awakened the homeowner who grabbed a shotgun and went downstairs to investigate. He found our bozo in the basement, wearing the homeowner’s hat, his wife’s jacket, and, inexplicably, covered in barbeque sauce. He quickly surrendered to the homeowner and then came up with our Bozo Excuse of the Month. He told him that he was a special ops Army officer and that someone had tipped him off that the homeowner was harboring terrorists. And the barbeque sauce? That was an "urban disguise". The Army says they’ve never heard of him. He’s under arrest.

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