Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

July 20, 2006

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report. From Callaway County, Missouri comes the story of bozos Joseph Schwartz and Michael Sorrels who were drug dealers. And like most dealers, they were just a little paranoid. So worried were they that the cops would pull their car over and discover their two pound stash of meth that they came up with a foolproof plan for disposing of the stuff. Well, foolproof, but not Bozoproof. They loaded the meth into a four foot long rocket which they placed in the truck. Using an elaborate system of ropes and pulleys, the rocket could be pulled into an upright position and then, at the flip of a switch, be sent blasting into the ozone, far away from the prying eyes of the police. Or that was the plan. When a highway patrolman pulled them over, the trunk popped open, the rocket rose into position, but nothing happened when they hit the switch. They had forgotten to plug the firing mechanism into the cigarette lighter. Busted!

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