Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

July 26, 2005

Bozo criminal for today comes from Slidell, Louisiana, where bozo Douglas Kaufman told the cops that when he went to the local Exxon station to buy dog food, he was hit in the back of the head, robbed and thrown into the trunk of his 1994 Cadillac. He said his abductors then drove around for two hours before he managed to escape. Only a few holes in his story…first, the Exxon station doesn’t sell dog food, second, the Cadillac’s trunk doesn’t have an emergency release lever, and, even though he said he was robbed, he still had $400 in his wallet. Oops. He finally confessed that he had made up the story to avoid the wrath of his pregnant girlfriend after blowing a bunch of money at the local strip club.

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