Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

July 5, 2005

Bozo criminals for today come from the International File in Oslo, Norway where our bozos believed they had come up with the perfect crime. They would break into an ambulance boat, which they knew contained a large amount of drugs and also some cash. They would then escape in a rowboat, leaving no trail for the cops to follow. Things went awry from the get-go. First, they tripped the ambulance’s burglar alarm, which alerted the ambulance crew members who arrived just in time to see our bozos trying to make their getaway in their rowboat. We say "trying" because it apparently never occurred to them that to use the boat as a getaway vehicle, at least one of them would need to be experienced at rowing a boat. Not having a clue as to what to do, our bozos actually ended up rowing in opposite directions. They were quickly apprehended.

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