Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

March 31, 2005

Another one from the "When you gotta go, you gotta go" file. From Santa Clara, California comes the story of bozo Frank Simmons who had been driving around all afternoon, drinking beer with one of his buddies. And right now they needed to find a restroom, and quick. But on this stretch of highway there were no convenience stores or service stations in sight. Suddenly they spotted a large bus. Thinking it was a Greyhound, our bozos began following it, hoping the driver would lead them to the depot where they could use its facilities. It looked like they were in luck as the bus slowed down and pulled into a large compound with the bozos in hot pursuit. But this place didn’t look much like a bus station. It had a tall fence around it and a security gate in front. Our bozos had followed a department of corrections bus transporting prisoners into the Elmwood Correctional Facility. Our bozo was arrested for DWI.

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