Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

March 4, 2004

(Best of Bozo) Bozo criminal for today comes from Portland, Maine, where bozo Lance Shafer was a wanted man. He was minding his own business, keeping a low profile and staying at the Holiday Inn when he was assaulted and robbed. Our bozo cooperated fully with the police and gave them a complete report, except for one minor detail. Since he was on the run, he claimed to be his brother Luke. He was pretty smooth, too. He even had Luke’s social security and driver’s license numbers memorized. The cops would have never been any the wiser, except when our bozo called the station to see how the investigation was going, he said to the detective, "Hi, this is Lance…I mean Luke!" This aroused the officer’s suspicions. He did some checking and arrested our bozo.

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