Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

November 13, 2003

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Chaplain Dennis Marks for sending in today’s report. From Tampa, Florida comes the story of a couple of women who remembered the best way to calm a savage bozo is to offer him something to eat. Bozo Alfred Swanton broke into the home of two retired ladies, aged 60 and 63, and, pointing a shotgun at them, demanded cash. In their best grandmotherly fashion, the ladies told our bozo to calm down and have something to eat. They offered him a ham sandwich along with a bottle of rum. He accepted. And before long he was passed out at the kitchen table, which is where the cops found him.

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