Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

August 27, 2003

(Best of Bozo) Our bozo for today from Santa Clara, California, comes from the When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go File. Bozo Frank Simmons and one of his buddies had been driving around all afternoon, drinking beer. And right now, they needed to find a restroom, and quick. And on this stretch of highway, there were no service stations in sight. Suddenly, they spotted a large bus. Thinking it was a Greyhound, our bozos began following it, hoping the driver would lead them to the depot and the much needed facilities. It looked like our bozos were in luck. The bus was slowing down and pulling into a large compound. And our bozos were right behind. Only this compound didn’t look much like a bus station. It had tall walls all around it and a security gate in front. Our bozos had followed a department of corrections bus transporting prisoners straight into the Elmwood Correctional Facility. They were arrested for DWI.

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