Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

July 7, 2003

Bozo criminal for today comes from Rochester, Minnesota where an unidentified bozo walked into a bank, flashed a gun and demanded cash. Bank employees said he seemed a little nervous, a little fidgety. In fact, he left the building before getting his cash. Maybe he left because it dawned on him that he had locked his keys in his rusty old pickup outside. After a couple of minutes of trying in vain to get inside, he walked over to a nearby house and asked for a coat hanger. Suspecting that something was up, they wouldn’t give him one. Finally, getting desperate, our bozo took out his gun, broke the window and drove away. Not only did he not leave with any money, the window is probably going to cost more to fix than the old truck is worth.

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