Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

January 7, 2003

Thanks to several Bozo News Hawks who alerted us to today’s story. From Marked Tree, Arkansas comes the story of bozo Michael Burns who broke into the downtown bank by smashing the glass door. Immediately upon entering the bank our bozo looked directly into the security camera, his first mistake. His second mistake was breaking in after hours when all the money was locked up. So he grabbed whatever he could find, a clock radio, a compact disc player and a fistful of the candy that bank employees give to children. Grabbing that candy was his third mistake. Eating it on the way home and leaving a trail of wrappers all the way to his trailer house was his fourth mistake. And the name of that candy that our bozo was so fond of? "Dum Dums" of course.

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