Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

January 9, 2003

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk John Flynn for sending in today’s report. From the International File in Grangetown, Middlesbrough, England comes the story of bozo Paul Raines who made a good living selling crack cocaine from his house. He was understandably upset when the cops decided to shut down drug dealing in his neighborhood. When they parked a drug awareness van directly across from his house, it was the last straw. He marched right over to the cops, introduced himself and berated them for their inconsiderate behavior, telling them they were putting him out of business. He even went so far as to tell them that they were forcing him to move his operations further down the street. The cops gave him a couple of days to get set up and then paid a little visit to his new location, catching him red handed with a pan of crack simmering on the stove. He’s now relocated again, this time to jail.

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