Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

January 20, 2003

Bozo criminal for today comes from Port Royal, Virginia where there’s considerable evidence that our bozo crook should consider another profession. First, while bozo Edward Blaine did succeed in holding up a bank, he lost much of his loot as he ran out of the bank, with the cash flying from his overstuffed pockets. When he got to his getaway car, he discovered that he had locked his keys inside. So he picked up a nearby log and began beating on the car window to try to break in. Not surprisingly, this drew the attention of onlookers who gave chase. As he was fleeing, he then pulled his gun and fired a shot at them. His marksmanship skills must also be lacking, as instead of hitting them, he shot himself in the leg. He’s now in jail.

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