Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

August 29, 2002

Bozo criminal for today comes from Merriam, Kansas where bozo Dick Starnes thought he had found the perfect disguise for his little crime spree. He bought several pair of pantyhose in different colors and set forth to rob as many places as possible. At his first stop he pulled the brown pair over his head but before he could walk in the manager saw him and locked the front door. Not to be deterred our bozo pulled a gray pair over his head and successfully robbed a store. Then he pulled a black pair over his head and tried to stick up a convenience store. He did get some cash and a carton of cigarettes before he sprinted out the front door. But the black pantyhose must have obscured his vision because he then ran headfirst into a dumpster, spilling his loot everywhere. He grabbed what he could and stumbled to his car. Unfortunately, all the commotion had attracted the attention of a passerby who jotted down his license plate number. The cops arrested him before he could cause any more trouble.

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