Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

April 5, 2002

BOZO CRIMINALS FOR TODAY COME FROM SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA, WHERE OUR BOZO BANK ROBBERS SPENT ALL NIGHT WAITING INSIDE A BANK AFTER ATTACKING A JANITOR AND FORCING THEIR WAY INSIDE. WHEN THE FIRST TELLER ARRIVED IN THE MORNING, THE BOZOS ORDERED HER TO OPEN THE VAULT. SHE TOLD THEM SHE COULDN’T, SINCE IT TOOK TWO EMPLOYEES TO UNLOCK IT. BUT, SHE SAID, SHE BELIEVED SHE HAD SEEN THE BANK MANAGER STANDING AROUND OUTSIDE, AND IF OUR BOZOS WOULD JUST LET HER GO OUT FOR A MOMENT, SHE WOULD GET HIM AND BRING HIM BACK INSIDE TO OPEN THE VAULT. OK, SAID THE BOZOS. THEY LET HER GO, AND SHE WENT STRAIGHT TO A PAY PHONE AND CALLED THE COPS WHO ARRIVED WHILE OUR BOZOS WERE STILL WAITING FOR THE MANAGER TO COME IN.

Category: Uncategorized