Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

December 18, 2001

Bozo criminal for today comes from the great state of Vermont where bozo Mark Duncan was doing time in a prison work camp when he worked up a powerful thirst. Our bozo sneaked away from the guards, crawled under a fence and walked more than a mile to a convenience store. There he bought a case of beer, a carton of cigarettes and a 40 ounce beer. He drank the 40 ouncer on the way back to the prison facility but by the time he arrived, he’d already missed evening head count and the guards were on the lookout (like they wouldn’t notice an inmate coming back into the facility with a case of beer under his arm). He’s been moved to a more secure prison.

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